In a perfect world, families would eat wholesome meals every evening; husbands would arrive home to a spotless house where everything would be put in its proper place. Toys wouldn’t litter the floor. The kitchen would be clean, and his partner would greet him with a smile. Her hair done and makeup done. Well, folks, that’s a fantasy for most families and not their reality.
Even in the days when most women were stay-at-home mothers, their homes weren’t as spotless as those TV shows portrayed. Parents responsible for caring for the children and home have a lot on their plates.
Jordan Harvell, a mother of three and writer, composed this letter to her husband that reads more like a diary entry. In it, she explained why the kitchen isn’t yet clean when she promised it would be. Now if you’re like me, thinking Jordan’s husband would dare ask her why the kitchen is still a mess, fear not. Jordan clears everything up by noting in her composition that her awesome hubby wouldn’t ever ask such a stupid question of her.
Read it for yourself below.
I know I said I was going to clean the kitchen today. So you might be surprised when you get home and see the kitchen is in fact, not clean.
“I’d love to offer an explanation — First, I walked into the kitchen with the sole intention of cleaning it. I picked up the hair brush and rubber bands off the kitchen table and walked to the bathroom to put them in the drawer.
“While in the bathroom I noticed a pile of towels on the floor that had been laying there, fermenting for several days, so I grabbed the towels and headed to the laundry room.
“Once there, I decided to go ahead and do a load since both hampers were spilling over and the room smelled like cat pee and B.O. had a baby. I cranked the dials on the washer, shut the lid, and headed back to the original job: the kitchen.
“But on my way to the kitchen, I was sighted by Child B. A hangry Child B. The child and her whines followed me into the kitchen, where I promptly handed her a cheese stick and told her to go eat it in the garage (because the kitchen is being cleaned right now, obviously).
“The sight of the child reminded me I hadn’t emailed her teacher back yet about Valentine’s party, so I ran to the computer in our bedroom.
“As I opened the computer, Child C rushed in screaming because his cape fell off. I fixed the cape, but didn’t fix it the right way, so he immediately melted to the floor.
“I carried Child C kicking and screaming to his room to calm down.
“I walked out and shut the door, but immediately walked back in order to remove the cowboy boots so that when he inevitably started kicking the door, it wouldn’t be scuffed.
“Then, I headed back to the computer to … what was I going to do? Fifteen minutes of Facebook later, I shut the computer.
“Because, of course, I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen.
“I walked into the kitchen only to realize the oven clock showed it was time to pick up Child A from school.
“So, no. It’s not clean. Nothing is ever clean. My life is just a constant state of doing and never completing.
“I just thought I’d let you know the situation, so you won’t ask about the state of the kitchen.
“Not that you ever would.
“Love you forever,
“P.S. Remind me to email Child B’s teacher.”